Soon after my husband and I were married, I found myself under the assumption that my husband was going to completely fill the leader-type role and I would be the one to reinforce his guidance and see that our home ran smoothly. Truly, I wanted him to be the sole leader.
That was all fine and well for a short while, but I kept my thoughts and feelings towards leadership decisions to myself and found that we were a bit at odds with each other.
So, while my husband was doing an amazing job at leading and guiding our family, I still had my own ideas and felt like I wasn’t being heard. It wasn’t until after a few months of marriage that I realized that I also was also was in a position of leadership in our family. I realized that there is more to leadership than that single father/leader role stereotype that is out there.
It did not happen over night; it took me a while to see that being an example and leader in a family is a big and heavy job. It does not just fall on one person alone, and even single parents need support and love from a community or other family members. And before things settled in, our family unit felt disorganized, disconnected.
So when I finally did accept this big responsibility being something I needed to bear jointly with my husband, I told myself that I could do it. I could be an example. I could be a leader, a rule creator, a rule enforcer.
Finally, once we joined together our ideas and future plans for our family, that’s really when our individual family unit was formed and organized to the foundation of what we have now. We talked openly about a lot of hard things, that maybe a lot of other couples would not even think about early on in marriage, because of the direction life was taking us. The Beginning…..
And, as our family has grown, we have come to understand that we are a team. I know, it’s a bit cliché, but hear me out.
We ‘take turns’ guiding our family.
When one of us is down or in need the other is there to pick up the slack and to be sure our family will always make it through (and we will!)
Our family is strong because of the hard times and because we realize as we grow that neither one of us only has one role.
Honestly, it’s difficult to put into words how close we are, how we are really ‘one’. We live and breathe for each other. We mirror each other’s emotions. We know what the other is thinking and feeling.
But at the end of the day, let’s remember that as mothers we are also leaders, if in different ways, but equally critical for the success of our families. All you other moms out there, keep in mind this mantra:
I am a mother, I am a leader, and I am a success.
It might sound silly, but we really need to lend ourselves some credibility for what we do (so says my husband). Ever heard this quote?…
“There ought to be a hall of fame for mamas, creation’s most unique and precious pearl, and heaven help us always to remember, that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” —Glen Campbell
I have heard recently that we are all ‘homemakers’ in what is the true and literal sense of the word. We all make our home. That safe space where our family wants to grow and succeed together. We all have the role of leader, follower, home maker, and protector of our home. We are strength for each other and we are examples to everyone around us.