When I was 6 months pregnant we were so happy and excited to welcome this second baby and decided that we wanted to know the sex. We had a wonderful 2-year-old little girl and were slightly hoping for a boy. We scheduled the ultrasound as soon as we could to find out.
While on the way to that very ultrasound only a few days later, the unimaginable happened…
With my first baby I was prepared months in advance only to be a day late. When I was pregnant with my second baby I was under the assumption that she also would be late at least a day or two, but boy was I wrong.
It all started when 5 days before my second baby was born I started to feel less and less movement from her. Fearing something dangerous, we went to the emergency room and had her monitored for a few hours. Finding nothing immediately wrong, but wanting to cover their bases, they sent us home with a requisition to get an ultrasound as soon as possible.
A few days later, Saturday afternoon, over a month before our little one was due, we decided it was time to go and buy few new things for the coming addition (and funny thing, to this day I don’t know if we did actually buy what we had planned to buy that day), so we all got ready to leave the house. It was a bit cold that day so my husband decided to grab some gloves from another room…
Then it happened – my water broke!
We could not believe it. It was 5 weeks early and we were not prepared at all.
My husband came back into the room and I told him what had happened (or what I thought had happened since this had never happened to me before) and he started freaking out and even called *Health Link. We often look back at that call and laugh because it was obvious to me that we needed to go to the hospital no matter what the outcome was.
When we arrived at the hospital they confirmed that my water did break, but because I was 5 weeks early and having no contractions that maybe they could figure out a way to keep her in just a little while longer. As the day went on, the doctor on-call had too many concerns with leaving her in with very little ‘water’ and a high risk of infection. We had to decide right then and there, would we risk infection and other complications so our baby could be further (and better?) developed? or would we welcome this tiny baby who may now have health challenges?
It was a heavy burden to try to figure out what was best for this little one. We talked and talked about what might happen both ways and how we would feel and deal with each situation. After all that, we knew the decision was out of our hands as we discovered that her heart rate was dropping and she needed to come out right now.
All of a sudden things started going so quickly as they prepared me for the birth of my tiny girl. I was getting very worried and scared. Not only was she going to go straight to the NICU after she was born, but I may not get to hold her or know what kind of state she is in before they take her away.
My emotions ran high as I cried for this little baby, my helpless little baby. “Why was this happening?”
All I could think of… “was this my fault?”… “is the heart rate going to drop to zero?”
To find out what happened next (and also what happened to stop us from going to the ultrasound!), Having a preemie: welcome baby love
*Health link is an Alberta based number you call to get advice from a registered nurse before going to the hospital or Dr.’s office. Not an emergency number.